If you want to yell less and enjoy the holidays more, join us for a presentation in December
Is That Me Yelling?
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Parents Place Marin
San Rafael, CA
To register go to: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/is-that-me-yelling-all-ages-registration-19430838160?aff=FB
Wednesday, December 2, 2015, 6PM
Via Nova Preschool, Berkeley CA
3032 M.L.K. Jr Way, Berkeley, CA 94703.
Call (510) 848-6682 for more information
If you want to schedule a training for parents, teachers, childcare providers, or health professionals in your community contact firstname.lastname@example.org
I always enjoy talking to parents and providers in the community. Here are two of the talks I’ll be doing this month:
October 7, 2015
Is That Me Yelling? Bring more harmony to your home!
JCC East Bay presents a Parent Education Seminar from 6:30-8:30
Jewish Community Center of the East Bay at 14124 Walnut St. Berkeley Ca
For more information call 510-848-0237 x122
October 8, 2015
Understanding Your Child’s Behavior Through The Lens of Temperament
To register go to:
Parents Place in Marin, CA
Do you want to schedule a training for parents, teachers, childcare providers, or health professionals in your community? If so contact me at email@example.com
“When we do our best to treat our children, others, and ourselves with kindness and respect—even with our imperfections–there is a ripple effect. A shift takes place in ourselves, in our children, in the people we interact with every day. When we heal our wounds with courage and honesty, we can use our energy for our benefit and the benefit of others. One person—like you or me—can have a significant impact on the violence, greed, suffering, and lack of compassion around us all. If more parents model respectful communication and empathy, then the next generation will have a better chance to create a more peaceful world.
Consider these questions every day:
What will I discover today that brings meaning to my life?
What will I learn from my children, and what will they learn from me?
How can I offer love, comfort, or peace to someone?”
—Rona Renner, “Is That Me Yelling?” (page 200)
Join other parents to explore ways to gain a child’s cooperation without losing your cool.
This series is based on my book, “Is That Me Yelling?”
Dates: 1/22, 1/29, 2/5, 2/12, 2015
Time: 7-9 PM
Location: Berkeley California
Cost: $40 per week ($75 for partners or spouses)
If you don’t yell much but frequently feel stressed or frustrated with your kids, this class will help.
In a safe, comfortable, small group setting you will—
- Learn techniques to manage your stress.
- Practice becoming more aware of your feelings, thoughts, and actions.
- Support each other’s desire to yell less and enjoy your kids more.
- Understand the temperament of your child and yourself.
- Review the 4 C’s of discipline—communication, choices, consequences, and connection.
- Develop self-compassion for when you lose it.
To reserve a space or learn more e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
When I hear the word curiosity, I can’t help but think of Curious George. But there are other meanings worth considering.
Curiosity is a strong desire to know or learn something. When you are curious you are interested in discovering something new or understanding something that’s puzzling. This attitude can come in handy when raising children because they surprise and perplex us on a regular basis.
“Why is he waking up at night all of a sudden? He’s always been a good sleeper.”
“How did she figure out what the password is on my computer? She’s only eight years old.”
If you’re stressed and rushed, your first reaction to some of your child’s behavior may be to yell. If you slow down and calm yourself, you may develop an attitude of curiosity and discover more about what makes your child tick.
Take the time to approach a new situation, disagreement, or challenge from a place of curiosity!
When you are able to notice and then manage your strong reactions of frustration, anger, fear, or disappointment, you have an opportunity to connect and engage with a child. This is a powerful step in resolving problems and preventing power struggles.
Here is an example.
Jada, a 6 year old who likes to take her time in the morning, frequently fusses when it’s time to walk to school. She wants to play one more game, or she searches for that special object, like a pencil or toy that she must have to take to school. Her mother Marla is usually in a rush, and gets easily frustrated when Jada isn’t ready on time. Marla is in the habit of yelling, and the more she yells the more Jada insists that she needs, “One more thing.”
When Marla tries the curiosity approach, she finds that it takes less time than she feared. As Jada stalls and says she can’t go to school without that special pencil Marla asks her to sit down with her for a minute. In a calm manner she asks her daughter a few questions, and then she listens. “Honey, do you have anything important going on at school today? When Jada says no, mom asks, “Tell me a little bit about your pencil. What makes it so special?” Jada says, without hesitation, “When I have to write my numbers I get scared that I’ll make the 3 and 5 backwards. With my special pencil I’m less worried cause the eraser is really good.”
Marla gives Jada a hug and reminds her that many children write numbers backwards, and that’s part of learning. She tells her daughter how she used to do the same thing. Marla makes a mental note to work with Jada on her numbers to help build her confidence. She also reminds her daughter that today is art day, something Jada loves.
Taking time to connect and find out more about what your child is feeling and thinking will often provide a clearer picture of your child’s experience. When you don’t have time for a morning sit down, remember to connect with curiosity later in the day.
To learn more about how to lower your intensity and calm yourself so you can respond instead of react, check out my book, Is That Me Yelling?
With gratitude and curiosity about how things are working for you.
I had the pleasure of joining Michael Krasny, Gever Tulley, founder of the Tinkering School, and Markella Rutherford, author of “Adult Supervision Required” on KQED Radio.
Do you let your elementary school kid walk to school alone? Do you let your nine-year-old play unsupervised at a park? For recent generations of children, play almost always happens in the presence of an adult. But there is growing concern among parents and experts that kids need more freedom to explore the world on their own. We’ll discuss how today’s parents weigh risks and safety concerns for their kids, and what has changed from previous generations
What do you think?